Satire

Voters bias towards more beautiful politicians has long been confirmed in surveys. Where voters are uninformed about politicians’ plans and beliefs, they instinctively go by their appearance. But new research from Scandinavia reveals that good looks are quite unevenly distributed in this beauty contest.

I am sure readers will agree with me that 2011 will be another cracker of a year for Europe. Stable political leadership, sound economic management and monetary steadiness will once again prevail. Given this altogether positive outlook, my chances of being wrong have now been reduced dramatically to just about three in four. And if there is one thing that I am slightly more confident about than this forecast, it is that on the 25th of December 2011 it will be Christmas once again.

The hopes of tech aficionados that the new world of social media would completely change the way we think, talk and work turns out to be a mirage. People remain people. They are still interested in the same things, talk about the same subjects, and they still have breakfast. Technology may be easier to upgrade than human nature.

Even tragedies like the Great Depression have their pluses. One of them is Monopoly. If a certain Charles Darrow had not lost his job at a sales company, he would never have had the time to develop the famous game that Parker Brothers started selling in 1935. Today, 75 years and a few economic crises after its original launch, it is time to update Monopoly to the new realities.

Let there be no doubt that Australia is as good a place as you can find on this planet. Whatever you’re looking for, you can find it right here.

Unfortunately, the commission’s ‘Big Australia’ report alloweth only one conclusion. It is with deepest regret that we commend to order Captain Arthur Phillip to turn back his fleet and set sail for England, our green and pleasant land.

The updated Monopoly promises to be great fun for all the family – once they have worked through the thousands of pages of game instructions. Happy 75th birthday, Monopoly!

Once upon a time, a European traveller’s wallet used to be as colourful as the Eurovision Song Contest. Europe can only hope for the return of that splendid monetary diversity. And who would want to listen to the same daggy tune 27 times in a row anyway?